So what am I up to these days
Permalink -- Posted in Blog, Gaming, News on September 13, 2012 at 6:23 pm | No Comments »
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A long time ago, my old friend BMF54123 (whose you might recognize from some of my game translations - he helped me quite a bit with technical stuff) had a section on his web site called "The Cutting Room Floor". He wrote about all the unused stuff people found in games. He had quite a bit of content, but he didn't update the page very often - probably because he was too busy with real life. I ended up forgetting about the page for quite a few years, but I stumbled upon it fairly recently, only to find it wasn't a page anymore - it was now a wiki.

And I figured, BMF helped me a lot. So why not return the favor? And so, I have.

Some of the more interesting stuff I've contributed is the unused text in Yume Penguin Monogatari (as well as an explanation of the anti-piracy features, as explained to me by a hacker who never told me who he really was), unused music and sound effects in Art of Fighting (Neo-Geo), and how to play Jackal in Konami Collector's Series: Castlevania & Contra! Well, sorta. I still have no idea if there's a real code to play the games.

I'm currently working on a bombshell of an entry for The Punisher. Well, three entries. I originally found some unused stuff on the PC version, then I found some more stuff on the PS2 version, and then I found some really awesome stuff on the Xbox version. I'll post this content as soon as I'm finished.

Oh yeah, I was supposed to talk about comics too, wasn't I? Well... how about some Punisher stuff, since I'm already messing with the games?

Stupidity abounds
Permalink -- Posted in Blog, News on September 08, 2012 at 10:03 pm | No Comments »

So a couple of weeks ago, I got this message:

I blinked, then I saw who sent it - and I laughed. For ten straight minutes. Now, who sent it? I'll keep his true identity a secret, but he was one of the people who offered to host me after I announced that Parodius Networking would close. I turned down his offer almost immediately because of what he does.

And what does he do? He sells SNES game reproductions - games that friends and acquaintances of mine have hacked. This idiot has the balls to ask me to translate games for him despite all my translation pages saying that everything I do is not for commercial use. By now I think he's probably brain damaged or worse... so I send him an email.

I guess this hit a nerve because he sent a reply shortly after:

Hey, guess what - I know romhacks are illegal. I've known this due to the twelve or so years I made them. But you know what else? I'm proud to say that I never, not once, asked for money to do these things. Not a single cent. And I'm damn proud of it.

Also, you're charging $65 dollars per cart. $65! CHARGING MONEY FOR LABOR IS STILL CHARGING MONEY. You want to know why so many of us got away with making translation patches? We don't charge money for them, or sell anything. Our work is derivative. We never claimed ownership of the game. We have no real rights over what we do. And the minute you start making money is the minute they start paying attention to you. Because you're making money with their hard work, not them. Supporting homebrew development with the profits? Like hell. You're probably paying for your Cheetos with it or some shit.

People who make money off of freely available patches are scum. You're just as bad as those douchebags that freeware computer recovery programs on eBay. So yes, you moron, you can go screw yourself. People like you are the reason why I stopped translating games.


Agh, I rambled. Sorry about that. The balls on that guy...

Happy Foxhack Day! Samurai Pizza Cats released!
Permalink -- Posted in News, Romhacks on June 28, 2012 at 5:24 pm | 1 Comment »

You read right, it's my birthday and I'll release patches if I want to!

First off, the game everyone's wanted done for years, Sengoku Densyo for the SNES! ... what, you didn't want it? Well tough luck, you're getting it anyway! And oh yeah some weird game about armor using, feudal era, italian food eating robotic felines. It's done, in two flavors of awesomeness! So go on and play it RIGHT NOW!

Also of note, I'm taking this moment to announce the obvious: I'm officially retiring from romhacking. I know, I know, everyone thought I'd retired years ago. Well, not so. I couldn't do it until I finished Samurai Pizza Cats... and now that I have, I feel it's time to move on. There's other fields of entertainment I want to explore. Writing, video, audio... truth is, I like to entertain people, and I want to do it again. It's one of the things that got me into romhacking to begin with.

So an era of my internet life is officially over. I have no intention of releasing another translation patch in the future. I may still do it, there's a few things I never announced... but don't expect anything.

I've been at this for close to 13 years now. So, time to move on. It's not like I don't have enough of a backlog already...

Thank you for your patronage. *bows*

And keep an eye out for other updates. Be sure to subscribe to my site via the RSS feed at the bottom of every page. You won't regret it.

Edit: I updated the Pizza Cats' readme file slightly since a few people were surprised at the aggressive tone of some comments I made about the patching utilities. These people have been apologized to, and I added a link to the patching program to it. No offense was meant towards anyone. Guess I'm just cranky in my old age.

Edit again: I added a page explaining how to use the XDelta patching utilities to patch the game. You can see it here.

Ha, guess I suck eh
Permalink -- Posted in News on April 08, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I didn't manage to finish this by Easter. I'm so bad at making deadlines. But I came REAL close to finishing, since I'm editing the last two stages and the ending credits now. And then I have to work on the title screens again since I seem to have misplaced some of my work in progress (the actual logo designs are safe, it's the reinserted data that needs to be rebuilt.)

So, pretty soon.

Also, I officially canceled the Nettou King of Fighters '96 translation patch since the game was actually released in Europe. And Dunk Heroes too because someone else released a decent translation patch for it months ago. Yep. Sorry.

The return of – Pizza Cats news!
Permalink -- Posted in News on April 01, 2012 at 5:30 pm | No Comments »


You're probably wondering, what the heck happened? Well, I had to take my website down for a week in order to clean it up. I needed to replace the theme with one that was better optimized and had a few more features. I was originally planning on releasing Kyattou Ninden Teyandee today - yeah, on April 1st. I know, right? Well, that didn't happen due to my computer overheating due to the weather. I did however manage to finally figure out a simple way to add the names to the ending screen credit roll. Neat, huh?

And yes, I am aware that someone else has already released a full translation for the game. Very aware. However, judging from the screenshots I've seen, the guy went with an all-uppercase font and left a lot of things unfinished. That translation was one of the reasons why I decided to finish my own translation. The other was the announcement of official DVD boxset releases for the show (I hope they're not censored and that they include the missing episodes that were not aired in America) so I figured, screw it, might as well get this done with.

I expect to have this the translation finished by next weekend if all goes well. The only things that are missing from the games so far are the title screens, and I still have to finish rewriting the US version of the patch. And figure out how to distribute the thing. Due to the amount of changes that MottZilla and Optomon did to the game itself, creating a legal patch won't be so easy. I'll figure something out.

The other thing I want to mention is the donation link on the sidebar. You're probably thinking, "That lazy git is demanding money from us now?!" Well, no, not really. What do you think I am, some sort of Wolve from the Night? That donation link does not give me any money; it contains a PayPal donation link for my webhost, Parodius Networking. They have hosted me for several years at no charge, so please, if you've liked what I've done, give them a couple of bucks. They deserve it for hosting my lazy ass for so long.

So anyway. Keep your eyes on Twitter for more updates.

Permalink -- Posted in News on March 22, 2011 at 3:26 pm | No Comments »

I was going to post a picture of a zombie, but I decided not to.

Anyway, insert generic not dead yet comment here. Now that that's out of the way, I've been doing some other non comicky gamingy hackingy stuff. Nothing too important, really.

I did manage to take the time to compile this list of free or almost free video game soundtracks - originally created by Cambrey of the forum - with many thanks to the forum users for helping out with it. Click on it, it includes free downloads and cookies!

Now let's see if I can finish Pizza Cats before the next scheduled zombie appearance...

Crisis averted, sorta
Permalink -- Posted in Comics, Gaming, News on September 25, 2010 at 10:28 am

It turns out TinyPic backpedaled so fast they saved Lois Lane from dying in an earthquake.

We heard from many of our users in regards to these changes and we appreciate your feedback. Tinypic has restored linking to your images and enabled uploading. Please rest assured no content was removed from the site. We tried to notify users on Tinypic and requested they move their content to Photobucket. Unfortunately this messaging was insufficient and has taken many of our users by surprise and we apologize. Our intent was to begin combining some of the best features of Tinypic and Photobucket, thereby offering users a better experience. Any changes in the future will be better communicated. Once again, we apologize for the inconvenience.

Which translates to "We didn't think most of our userbase would complain so much, so all your pictures are available again." Yeah well, the damage is done and I'm definitely not going to use them anymore. I've moved my image hosting to Dropbox. Let's hope they don't suck. ;p

Technical difficulties
Permalink -- Posted in Comics, News on September 23, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Please stand by

Well it turns out that Tinypic just pulled a dick move and has decided to restrict access to pictures to anyone who doesn't live in the US, Canada, or the UK. Which effectively bans most of their users. Including yours truly. And they say that we can go to Photobucket instead - I LEFT Photobucket because they kept deleting my photos! And I refuse to pay for a service where pictures will just vanish one day without warning. (Hell, this was bad enough.)

I can still get my photos; I just can't see anything else. And believe it or not, I actually care about international readers, so for the moment, I'm stuck without being able to upload any large pictures. I could upload the stuff to the website, but the last thing I want (or need) is for koitsu, the person who graciously gives me free hosting, to get angry at me for making the server's bandwidth usage go nuts. It's not like I get a lot of visitors, but still, those page views add up.

So, I won't be posting any comic book stuff until I find a reasonable (and cheap) solution that doesn't involve me moving the site off

Blah blah blah. Further news coming tomorrow.

So where the heck have I been?
Permalink -- Posted in News on September 13, 2010 at 8:39 pm | No Comments »
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Ahahahaha. Haha. Uh. It's a long story, so grab some popcorn and start reading.

Three days after I made that last post... June 16...


My freakin' video card (an EVGA GeForce 8800 GT 512MB) died. I spent a few days using a PCI 64MB Geforce 4 MX 440 video card that cost me a buck (brand new, too!), which I replaced with a PCI-Express GeForce 8400 GS with 256MB of RAM which cost me five bucks. It sucks, but it works. I can barely run Team Fortress 2 normally, but this also meant that the majority of my newer video games - as well as virtually any sort of video editing - were completely out of the question. Which was pretty bad considering I was writing a script and capturing footage for what would've been my first actual game-related comedy video - other than my stupid Portal glitches and whatnot. I've been trying to get the money to buy a new video card, but business has been very bad, and I really haven't been able to spare the cash.

Then a week or so later, my sisters and their family came down to visit. The house was pretty busy (five adults and three children sharing a small house, in the summer heat) but things were okay. I was settling down to finish a ton of stuff and get started on new things, since I didn't have to worry over my parents for the moment. And then the unthinkable happened.

My father had been gravely ill for a month or so. He relapsed in late June, and made a partial recovery... but he passed away on July 9 due to respiratory failure from complications derived from pneumonia. We barely managed to arrive to ah, see him pass. And then came the funeral arrangements, and the mourning, and the legal bullshit that the local government and his bank is making us go through just so we can report him as being deceased.

And then another month passed. And finally, here I am.

I'm not gone. I haven't quit doing what I like. I just felt like it was time to ... shut myself off for a while. There is no excuse for me being as lazy as I've been for so long, but I plan to make up for all of that soon enough. Just uh, you know. When I get a new video card that won't spaz at the sight of Direct3D.

If you're here for the romhacks: I'll have some new stuff posted soon, but for the moment I am ready to announce that I am officially dropping Dunk Heroes, seeing that someone else's done some excellent work on it and there's no real reason for me to keep my project going.

If you're here for the Youtube stuff: I've got a couple of new Let's Play series planned, however my reflexes aren't that great, and doing single-game playthroughs from start to finish without savestates are time consuming. But I'm getting there.

If you're here via the comic communities that I used to hang around in: No hard feelings towards pretty much everyone there. I have... stuff planned in that regard as well, unfortunately my host has a very strict no-porn clause so forget about seeing any of that here. Days like these I wish I hadn't left, oh well. :P

I'll have more stuff posted soon.

Yes, really.

A note for the obsessive-compulsive
Permalink -- Posted in News on March 27, 2010 at 1:12 pm | No Comments »

If you happen to be obsessed with all the patches up here, here's a little bit of news. All the old patches have had their readme files updated with my site's current location (some still had the old Parodius address in them) and updated usage license information. Basically they now say that you can't charge for the patches, redistribute modified patches, make new patches based off of them without asking permission (you know, common courtesy) and stuff. The actual patches themselves are unchanged, but if you have them hosted and such, you'd better replace them.

You know, if that's your thing. :p